Can I Have A Friendly Divorce?
Not all divorces are contentious. If you and your soon-to-be-ex are on good terms, you may be wondering if you need to hire an attorney for your divorce.
The short answer: Yes. A lawyer is essential, even in a friendly divorce. There are also a couple of options on how to use a lawyer.
But if I hire a lawyer, won’t that cause us to fight?
The decision to follow through with a divorce is a difficult, emotional choice, meaning tensions can rise even when you’re on good terms. Hiring a lawyer removes the emotions from the legal steps involved in finalizing your divorce, such as dividing up your property and agreeing on child custody. In many cases, this makes divorcing couples less likely to fight, not more.
A reasonable family law attorney will strive to keep things friendly between you and your partner. They can help you understand your rights and discuss your options while keeping your partner’s wants and needs in mind. With their guidance, you can determine the best course of action to help you settle your divorce on good terms. This is why your choice of an attorney is critical to keep your goals in mind especially if you have children.
Having an attorney can also give you a sense of authority behind the decisions you’re making. Your soon-to-be-ex may respond differently to decisions they feel are made by your attorney versus those made by you. In some cases, what the law requires is very different from what the other party wants, and having a legal expert on your side will help you to present the idea without causing a huge fight.
It may also be the case that you don’t want to settle on what the law provides you, because you think another settlement is fairer to your partner. A family law attorney can help you achieve that.
Knowledge is power, so knowing what you can get and making an informed decision is much better than staying friendly and unknowingly leaving money or assets behind.
If I hire an attorney, will I have to go to court?
This is a common misunderstanding. All divorces must go through the court process to be legally finalized. That said, you may be wondering if you’ll have multiple hearings in front of a judge or days spent hashing out your divorce agreement in a courtroom.
If you hire an attorney, it’s more likely that you will have fewer court appearances because the attorney(s) will file Status Reports with the Court to keep it informed of the progress of your divorce. The Status Reports will keep the Court from ordering that you and the other party attend a hearing to update the Court.
Most importantly, if you hire an attorney and settle your case without going to a trial, you will likely never set foot in a courthouse.
Why should I pay for an attorney if we agree on everything?
We know that attorney fees are expensive and you are already trying to navigate a new normal as a single-income household. However, many people make very costly mistakes when they don’t have an attorney. A bad agreement can cost them far more than if they had hired an attorney from the beginning. Unfortunately, once you have a bad agreement, you can’t change it. With an attorney, you can make a more informed decision, reducing the chances of leaving money on the table that you’re entitled to.
If I hire an attorney, will we have to go to trial to get everything done?
You’ve likely heard countless horror stories about divorce. It’s a little like childbirth, where you only hear the terrifying stories and never the unremarkable ones. When it comes to divorce, not everyone uses the kids as pawns to get revenge or to get the property they want. In most cases, even if tensions are high and people are angry, people settle their divorces outside of Court without going to trial. If you are on good terms, it is unlikely that you will go to trial, especially if you select an attorney with those same goals.
How do I get an attorney?
If you want an attorney to help you with your divorce while working to remain on good terms, then you need to meet with your potential attorney and discuss the best way to start your divorce.
For example, if both of you want a divorce, then you can file a Joint Petition. This means you file it together, so neither party is served divorce papers. This can feel less awkward and confrontational. If your partner doesn’t want to get divorced but you’re still on good terms, an attorney focused on limiting conflict will work with them or their attorney to have them sign a waiver, allowing the divorce to continue without the discomfort of serving divorce papers.
You will also want to ask your potential attorney how they approach negotiations. If you know that your soon-to-be ex will not hire an attorney, you will want an attorney who can work with them without any issues.
Hiring an attorney doesn’t end your chance at a “friendly” divorce. By hiring an attorney, you’re getting the support and protection you need to make informed decisions.
If you’re contemplating a divorce, friendly or not, don’t hesitate to consult with an attorney (like us!) to know your rights and develop a strategy for finalizing the divorce.
