Making Major Decisions and Repairing Co-Parenting Relationships: How a PCDM Can Help

When parents share custody, major decisions about their children—like education and medical care—can be complex and challenging. Ideally, co-parents communicate openly and make these decisions together. But when communication breaks down, everything from which sports your child will play to which primary care physician your child will see can become a battleground. 

One solution is a parenting coordinator/decision maker (PCDM).

What is a Parenting Coordinator/Decision Maker (PCDM)?

A PCDM is a neutral third party, often an attorney, who helps parents resolve disputes about their parenting plan and major decisions. Co-parents can work with a parenting coordinator, decision maker, or a professional who acts in both capacities at once. This may be court-ordered or at the request of both parties.

A parenting coordinator facilitates communication, reduces conflict, and helps the co-parents to reach their own agreements. While they can support decision-making, they can’t make decisions themselves, nor can they enforce any agreements made between the co-parents.

Unlike a parenting coordinator, a decision maker can make binding decisions in the child’s best interests. These decisions are filed with the court to become enforceable court orders. This role is especially valuable when there is significant conflict between the co-parents and common ground seems unreachable.

What issues can a PCDM help with?

A PCDM can help co-parents with many major decisions, such as which school a child should attend, what extracurricular activities they can participate in, what medical treatments they can seek, and how religion or cultural practices should be handled.

How can a PCDM help repair a co-parenting relationship?

With the support of a skilled PCDM, co-parents can repair the communication patterns that led to conflict. The expert facilitation of a PCDM can teach co-parents how to communicate effectively, focus on their child’s needs first and foremost, rebuild trust in their co-parenting relationship, and develop long-term skills for managing disagreements. 

Hopefully, co-parents can move beyond the need for a PCDM, making decisions collaboratively and in their child’s best interests.

Ultimately, working with a PCDM doesn’t just help the co-parents. As the co-parents work together, their children will benefit from less conflict, reduced tension, and an overall healthier environment. 

If you’re struggling to make joint decisions or want to repair your relationship with your co-parent, our team can help you explore whether a PCDM might be the right fit for you.